Lazy Jaken
by year of the snake
Summary: Jaken has become lazy. Now you have the chance to laugh at lazy Jaken as he works of people other then his beloved lord. This is a pure laugh a lot fic that is based on a not very popular fairy tale. This will likely give you the giggles. Jaken Hates Cats
1. The Lazy Servant

Hello every one! I must at this moment beg all fans of Bored with Mine Borrowed Yours, not to kill me for not using the time I spent working on this working on that story. PLEASE DO NOT KILL ME! After all if you kill me you'll never know how that story ends. (Grins.) Yes I admit I am hiding behind my story as not to be killed. (hehehehe!) And don't worry I'm still working on that story too. I will try to update soon. (I make no promises.)

To all of you, who are new to my work, enjoy! Okay even those of you who know my work, please enjoy!

On to the most evil part for a fanfiction writer. The disclaimer.

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or its characters. The very talented **Rumiko Takahashi **owns him and the entire cast (Except for Tsuri, the kitten, she is mine. Yay! Sweet kitty!) And the rating may be wrong but it will NOT go higher.

By: year of the snake (at fanfiction) (aka.) crescentmoon (at mediaminer)

**Lazy Jaken**

Sesshoumaru was sitting at his table eating his dinner and glaring at his lazy servant Jaken.

Jaken had always been a faithful servant until recently. Ever since he allowed Jaken a week off to visit his mother he had become lazy. All day long he'd sleep in front of the fire or soak in a pond. This had been going on for nearly a year and Sesshoumaru's patience was worn out.

"Jaken."

"Ehh..?" the toad like thing managed to laze out.

"I'm through. You won't work for me. So tomorrow either hire yourself out or you get out. Understood?"

"Y…y…y…yes sir." Jaken didn't fancy the idea of being dishonorably discharged.

The next day he set off to a nearby town to find work.

'I'll work extra hard and Lord Sesshoumaru will want me to work for him again.' he thought as he walked down the dusty path.

That day he hired himself out to a blacksmith. When the work was done the blacksmith paid him for more then a days labor. At least that's what Jaken thought. The foolish man paid him an entire yen for his work.

"Ehehehehehehe!" Jaken cackled. "Sesshoumaru-sama will be so proud of me!" Jaken jumped over the stepping stones in the river on his way home. At the last stone he decided to sit down and rest. And do a little showing off to the pond creatures.

"Look at this here." he declared to the croaking frogs or were they toads? "This is a yen piece. Lord Sesshoumaru will be so proud. And then he'll give me my job back. And then…"

A particularly hungry fish had seen the sparkling metal and thought it was something good to eat. It jumped out of the water and stole the coin right out of his hand.

"Ahh! No!" His large eyes teared. "Lord Sesshoumaru will not be pleased! Come back here fish you are messing with Lord Sesshoumaru's will!" He hopped back and forth on two waterlogged boulders trying to find a way to go after the fish without falling in the water. While skipping back to the rock the fish stole his pay from, he slipped on some slimy water secretions that clung to said rock.

Needless to say there was a large splash and Jaken disappeared under the water. Jaken sputtered to the surface as he ran through a series of turns and kicks in a sick attempt to stay afloat.

That is how a kitten found him a few minutes latter. The kitten was quite upset at finding Jaken splashing around and scaring all the fish away. She dragged the drowning demon out of the water and plopped him on the hard ground. The pour sweet kitty was sopping wet and started to lick herself dry. Her eyes widened and her look went from put out to hungry. That loud thing she rescued tasted almost like the fish she had been there to catch.

She jumped at the little figure, claws out.

"Ah! No, no! Stupid cat! I'm not food!" he yelled as he ran away. "Go away!" He ran around and around and around in a circle. To bad for him the cat was smarter then he was. The cat sat down and trained its predator eyes on him memorizing his pattern.

After analyzing his movements for a good three minutes the young kitten stuck out its tiny be-clawed paw. A loud "Yow!" followed much too soon by an "Yrrow!" and a hiss blared through the woods. That hiss seemed to incite another cry of pain from our little beaked hero. And then the sweet small kitty ran off.

Jaken returned to his master dripping wet, tired and with dried blood cracking over his nose and on his right leg. Nicely exposed through those handy dandy slits in his pants.

Sesshoumaru didn't take too highly to his servant making puddles on his clean floor. "Jaken leave until you are dry."

"But my lord it is dark outside. It is very cold."

Sesshoumaru turned his icy gaze to Jaken and the demon delighted in the idea of shivering outside alone. Away from his beloved master. It didn't stay that way long.

"Jaken, your pay."

"I…I…I lost it Lord Sesshoumaru." Before his lord could hurt him he continued, rushing into the telling of what happened.

When his explanation was done he was promptly knocked over by a rock, it thought it was a bird and flew into the back of his head. Why did it think it was a bird? Why because Lord Sesshoumaru said it was.

Before he passed out he heard, "Next time put it in your pocket."

"Yes Lord Sesshoumaru." he sighed in his sleep.

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That's it for this chapter. I know it's short, but I plan to get the next chapter out very soon.

Thank you all for reading. Please spread the laughter. Kidding hog it all!

Please make me very happy and review. Thanks!

Okay ba-bye now! (waves happily)


	2. The Silk and the Door

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or its characters. The very talented **Rumiko Takahashi **owns him and the entire cast (Except for Tsuri, the kitten, she is mine. Yay! Sweet kitty!) And the rating may be wrong but it will NOT go higher.

By: year of the snake (at fanfiction) (aka.) crescentmoon (at mediaminer)

Chapter 2

The next morning Jaken stumbled once again down the dusty path to the demon and human inhabited village. That day he found work in a silk worm demon's hut. At the end of the day he was paid in a fine stretch of silk.

Remembering what his master said Jaken wadded up the beautiful fabric and put it in his pocket.

'Lord Sesshoumaru will be so proud!' he thought as he skipped down the forest trail back to his master.

Little did he know a tiny, even smaller then him, creature was following him. Sharp green eyes glowed as they stuck to the giddy demon's back.

Jaken proudly presented his lord with the irreparably wrinkled silk. Had his master been anyone else he would have at that time developed a twitch. Instead he looked straight at his worker's hopeful/proud face and booted him right back out the door. Said door was solid wood, it was also not open.

When he came crashing out Jaken's self appointed shadow jumped. Then the kind thing rushed over and started to lick his battered face. The shadow then proceeded to bite aforementioned face.

"Oww! You wretched cat get off me!" he pushed the kitten away.

She blinked her innocent eyes at him. Jaken got up and walked a few paces away. The little girl cat pretended once again to be Jaken's shadow. For a while, then she jumped on the little man's back.

Sesshoumaru exited his very stunning 'hut' to the commotion made by Jaken screaming for help. As soon as the moonlight gleamed on his silver hair the cat sensed a dog and bolted into the surrounding forest.

"Jaken."

"Yes my lord?"

"Silk should be laid flat on the back of a wagon."

"Forgive me, my lord. I did not know."

Tall, light and handsome stepped over the broken door. "And Jaken," he continued without looking back.

"Yes, Lord Sesshoumaru?"

"Fix the door." With that he disappeared.

Jaken stared in awe at where his hero once stood.

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Wow I got this chapter out just one day after the first.

Thank you for reading.

I have no reviews yet but that's okay. I know this is a great story without having people telling me. Can anyone name the fairytale I based this story on?

I'll have the next chapter out soon. Until then my friends. Bye.


	3. Ow! My Melon!

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or its characters. The very talented **Rumiko Takahashi **owns him and the entire cast (Except for Tsuri, the kitten, she is mine. Yay! Sweet kitty!) And the rating may be wrong but it will NOT go higher.

By: year of the snake (at fanfiction) (aka.) crescentmoon (at mediaminer)

Chapter 2

As the sun rose the next morning Jaken was well on his way back to the village. Dust had decided to take permanent residence on his puffy pants. He could almost hear the sleazy salesmen selling small homes on his left pant leg. And even sleazier one selling rooms with a view of the pale green island on the other. How dare they try to pass his leg off as a great view!

When he made it to the town he found a farmer to work for. For the entire day he sweated over pulling weeds, planting late seeds and harvesting early garden fruits. It was the most tiring job he had ever lived through. That night the human farmer paid him with a beautiful large melon.

Jaken carried his delicious melon to a small handcart and laid it in the back, pounded flat. 'After all that's what Lord Sesshoumaru told me to do. My lord will be pleased.'

Pets and birds that lived in or surrounding the small town hopped after him, picking up the melon droppings he left in his wake.

Jaken entered the building that housed his master when they weren't traveling. As the door shut a little orange and black kitten with green eyes jumped into the cart. There she nibbled on melon flesh where fishy hands had smashed the melon so it was flat.

Bringing Sesshoumaru out to see his pay Jaken was horrified to find that blasted cat chewing on his melon.

"Ach! No you stupid cat!" He tried to chase the cat away only to find himself being chased around by the tiny thing.

Finally Jaken hid behind Sesshoumaru. The Kitten took note of the dog and scampered off.

"That's right!" Jaken crowed. "Run in fear!" Jaken hurried to stand proudly between where the kitten had been and where his lord was. Unfortunately that also placed him between his lord and the hand pulled cart.

One well placed kick later and our friend, toad man found himself face down in melon slush.

His master said in that calm voice of his, "Next time carry it in your hands."

Before Jaken could remove himself from his face conformed crater or reply the Lord of the West was gone.

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Sorry it's so short. I'll have the next chapter out soon.

To my Excellent Reviewer:

Rory4: Thanks for the review! I'm glad you like it.

Thank you everyone for reading. Please review.


	4. It's the Smell

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or its characters. The very talented **Rumiko Takahashi **owns him and the entire cast (Except for Tsuri, the kitten, she is mine. Yay! Sweet kitty!) And the rating may be wrong but it will NOT go higher.

By: year of the snake (at fanfiction) (aka.) crescentmoon (at mediaminer)

Chapter 4

By the next morning Jaken had worked himself into an eager to work bean. He had spent the entire night giving himself a pep talk. He was running down the fluffy dust trail with a hop, a skip and a jump over anything and everything that could trip him up.

That day a butcher hired him. The little toady thought there was no way he could ruin his pay this time. But he thought wrong.

He was sent home a few hours before sunset today and it was unnaturally hot.

He was paid with a huge leg of demonic cow. The thing was almost as tall as he was. He tried to lift it by the bone but it was too heavy. He ended up dragging it by the bone. The meat was so big and heavy that he didn't see some rock in the path. The result is the meat rolled around in the dirt a few times.

When he finally made it to the Western Household the sun had gone down and the moon had been up for an hour or so.

The leg of meat when he tried to give it to Sesshoumaru was spoiled by the heat, filthy and torn, completely in-editable. Lord Sesshoumaru refused to soil his hands with the tainted meat.

He stepped on Jaken's head and said as he left the green smudge, "Next time wrap it in a blanket and tie it to your back." 'My servant is a complete idiot.' he thought. "Get that out of here before its stench permeates the wall."

"Yes sir."

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To My Reviewer:

Alliecoolgirl: Hey! It's great to see you again. You liking the Jaken fic so far? Thanks for the review I really enjoy reading them. Here's the next chapter. I hope you liked it.

This story only has **ONE **chapter left. I'll get it in soon. Thanks everyone for reading. If you like this story please review. I know this chapter is short but the next chapter is longer I promise. My goal is to have it up tomorrow. Thank you all.

Be Back Soon! Bye!


	5. Carrying My Pay and the Mute Girl

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or its characters. The very talented **Rumiko Takahashi **owns him and the entire cast (Except for Tsuri, the kitten, she is mine. Yay! Sweet kitty! And the un-named lord, he's mine too.) And the rating may be wrong but it will NOT go higher.

By: year of the snake (at fanfiction) (aka.) crescentmoon (at mediaminer)

Chapter 5

The sun rose too soon for Jaken and he once again trudged his way to the little city. He was now convinced that the only person he could work for successfully was Lord Sesshoumaru. But he would continue to seek employment elsewhere until his lord took him back.

He took a job mucking out stables for a demon mount trainer. After a long, long, oh-just-way-too-long day with that job the trainer gave him an old nag. The nag was a giant, compared to Jaken, two headed dragon mount. The old dragon's name was Ah-Un.

The semi-humanoid demon looked at Jaken strange when he asked him to help him tie the mount to his back. The trainer laughed heartily and decided to humor the impish demon.

Together they somehow managed to get the startled Ah-Un on his back and not have a Jaken flapjack. Ah-Un's legs kicked nothing but air as he tried to right himself. Jaken took 3 steps before he regretted working on the far side of town. The green figure stumbled his way through town with a heavy burden weighing him down.

As he neared the headman's house he heard a burst of feminine laughter. And a few minutes later the headman hurried out at him. By that time he had taken sixteen steps and was still not far from the first corner of the grand house.

Before the laughter started in the headman's home.

"My dearest daughter, does this young man's antics not make you want to laugh?"

The bored girl looked at her father then at the youth that was so eager to please her. She shook her head no, the ponytail on the side of her head franticly bobbed. She then stood up and left the room content not to see the rest of his lame attempt at juggling.

Her father quickly dismissed the man with a disappointed look. It had been nearly a year and his daughter still did not speak. The physicians said that should she laugh he voice would return.

At first he asked her to laugh, then he begged her, and he even tried to be funny. When those didn't work he hired the best of the best right down to the worst of the worst. They too failed. Finally in desperation he sent out an announcement if any could make his daughter laugh he would give him her hand in marriage.

Thus far all suitors have failed. The lord feared he would never hear his daughter laugh or speak again. No on in the entire house had been able to laugh since her voice disappeared. It just didn't seem right to laugh when the most cheerful one could not.

Then like Heaven's Gate suddenly opened and all blessings poured out from heaven a laugh, well giggle, filled the walls of this very house.

He rushed to see his one and only mute daughter laughing like she'd never in her life done so before.

"Daughter, what has caused this miracle?"

She pointed a shaky finger out the window to a green blob.

His lordship rushed out to reward whoever it was carrying the large beast.

"Good sir." he called. "Good sir." he tried again when he was ignored. Still he was ignored. His daughter now stood at his side. He couldn't let the man leave without his reward. So he stepped in front of the two demons.

One of the two heads of Ah-Un looked from it's upside down position into the face of the tall human man. The other looked into the eyes of his mid-teenaged daughter.

The girl smiled at the scaly mount and he let out a calm, "Almmm." And a "Mew" followed. She looked at the little kitten trailing behind them. She didn't pay attention to what her father and the little man said.

"Tsuri!" she cried happily as she gathered the small animal in her arms. The kitten immediately emitted a purr. The man before Jaken abruptly stopped talking, his eyes nearly leaked tears of joy.

The town leader told the tiny man that they would resume their talk inside. Then he and his daughter walked inside. Soon he dispatched three young men. Two to help remove the large mount from its spot on the miniature demon's back. The other he sent to inform the reigning demon lord of what was happening.

He joined the human lord inside to talk about the details of the wedding after the two headed burden had been lifted.

Stunned, shocked, appalled. All were words that could describe what the man felt when he saw the knee high demon. He immediately removed his offer of his daughter's hand. He was unable to force his child to marry such an ugly thing.

Upon hearing this Jaken became quite upset, a mixture of angry and sad. He ran home to his master, who had been content at having the annoying servant off his hands for good. Then he relayed the tell of what the foolish human lord had done.

Sesshoumaru was appalled by the man's lack of honor. And by his own lack of peaceful servant-less bliss. So he and Jaken went to the lord of the village's house to force him to live up to his word. Also to get the pay Jaken so stupidly left behind.

"Have you no honor? You must keep your word and marry the girl to Jaken."

"You expect me to let that thing marry my Rin!?!" The lesser lord pointed from Jaken to out the window where his daughter played. She was winding flowers into Ah-Un's mane and talking animatedly to the stripped kitten on its back. Even from here Sesshoumaru could sense the kindness and innocence that the woman-child possessed. Realizing that forcing the man to keep his word was a heinous crime even he couldn't commit. He just couldn't sentence such a sweet girl to a life attached to Jaken.

"Let's go Jaken." He turned to leave.

"Wait! I realize that it is wrong that I am unable to keep my word. But I have gathered a large sum of money that should console you." Rin's father dropped a large and very heavy sack into Jaken's arms. It was enough that all the pay the toady had lost or destroyed could be paid for a few hundred times over. Jaken became very gleeful. "My daughters weight in golden coins."

The old mount was brought out front and the young woman thanked them for helping her regain her voice.

Jaken ended up having to give all the money and Ah-Un to Lord Sesshoumaru as pay for all the time he didn't work and Sesshoumaru kept him around.

In the next few months Rin became engaged to a boy named Kohaku and they were married the next year.

As not to have to deal with Jaken should he become lazy again he gave him to the newly weds.

"Why did my lord abandon me?!?" is something Jaken cries every so often.

Jaken still gets lazy but Rin's kitten, who is no longer a kitten but a full blown tiger, takes it upon herself to keep him in line. Every time Jaken starts to get lazy Tsuri plays with him, if he gets really bad she bites him, and should he get even lazier Tsuri tries to eat him.

As you can probably guess Jaken is rarely lazy anymore. But we happened to catch him on an extremely lazy day; he's neglecting his kid watching duties.

Tsuri gets up from her spot not to far away and lets her hunter's instinct take over. She silently stalks her prey. The large tiger pounces, landing on the sleeping, green, fishy pile, knocking the air out of said pile. Immediately she starts to chew, lightly, on the squirming demon's hand.

"Ahh! Get off me you crazy cat!"

And Tsuri lived happily with her Jaken hunting duties ever after.

"Why me!" squeaked the little demon when he heard the last line.

**The End**

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Well here is the end of Lazy Jaken. I actually don't hate, or even dislike Jaken. I had fun writing this story. I hope you all enjoyed it too.

Tsuri is the Japanese word for fisher in case any of you wanted to know.

Thanks for reading. Please review. Bye!


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